The unexpected joy of shared nerding.
We all have something in our lives that we know a fair deal about, be it music, sport, finance, sneakers, tech. We all have something that interests us quite a lot, that we enjoy learning about, reading about, and perhaps having the odd conversation about. And we may find that in that odd conversation we’re the more knowledgable one. For me, I could say that about jazz music for example. I studied it in high school for 5 years, played in jazz bands for 8 years, went to jazz concerts and listened to countless jazz albums. I would say I have a broader understanding and deeper appreciation of jazz than most average people. But I wouldn’t say I’m a jazz nerd. Jazz does not consume my life. I do not think about jazz every day nor do I obsess over new releases of famous artists. I don’t nerd out about jazz.
I cannot say the same for cars. From the day I was born I’ve been completely and utterly obsessed with cars. Literally. I got a cuddly pillow shaped like a car on my birthday and was transfixed ever since. As a toddler my parents started giving me barbies to play with, and my sister got the cars. But it wasn’t long before I would drop the barbies, find my sister in the room next door and snatch the toy cars straight from her grasp.
As I grew into my early teens, I started to become embarrassed by how much I liked cars and knew about them. I thought they were the least cool thing possible to be interested in. When everyone else in my all-boys school started to become interested in partying and girls, I too became interested in those things. But behind the scenes I was playing along to fit in, more so than be actually interested. Nerding out about cars was my secret that no one knew about.
When I was 13 I could name every single car on the road. Every. Single. Car. Not just what make and model. I could tell you what year it was probably built, what engine it had, how much power it had, whether it was front/rear/all wheel drive, whether it had 5 or 6 gears, whether it had a built-in SatNav or not, and whether or not it was any good to drive….according to the motoring journalists that I read the reviews of in the countless car magazines that I collected over the years. In 2010, Top Gear UK launched its South African sister magazine, called Top Gear Mag SA. I can tell you now that on the cover of the first issue is pictured a black F10 generation BMW M5 and James May is giving his verdict on it. For me it’s as clear as day. It was the first issue of that magazine and I have bought every single issue since then. For years my favourite birthday present was a renewed subscription to that magazine. I couldn’t wait till the next month when one day I’d come home from school and the next issue had been dropped in the post box. No homework would be done that day. None.
Despite cars and racing being something that excited me like nothing else, I didn’t want anyone to know. As mentioned, I went to an all-boys school and so inevitably from time to time there were group conversations about cars. I realised then that other people found cars cool too, but that they didn’t know much about them and that nerding over them like me was definitely uncool. I remember clearly moments where I pretended to know less about cars than anyone else in the conversation. The opposite was always true. A friend might have showed us a picture of a new Ferrari that he liked and would tell us all the stats about the car. They were all wrong. But I pretended to be so impressed by what he said and how much he seemed to know. Of course it was irrational of me, but I felt safer knowing that no one else knew.
So for nearly 24 years the one thing in life which as brought me more joy and excitement than anything else, is something I’ve never been able to share with other people. It’s been a solo joy and while I’d accepted it, I realised too that I’ve missed out on being able to nerd out with other people who are just as excited and knowledgable as me, if not more than me, and thereby share a passion through mutual fascination.
Recently this happened to me for the first time. I made a new friend who shares this quite obsessive passion. And I cannot begin to describe what that feels like. Conversing, exchanging, describing, explaining, understanding, NERDING with someone is a gift I hope many people can experience. It’s started to fill a hole I never knew I really had, and such a relatively surface-level connection has laid the foundation for a much deeper friendship. And that is priceless.
Danke, Paul :)
