Dealing with Disappointment

Earlier this year an opportunity of a lifetime slipped through my fingers. A golden moment where all the stars aligned for me in a way I couldn’t have imagined or predicted.

And then I lost the grip I had on it.

The opportunity didn’t so much fade away as explode in front of my eyes in spectacular fashion. For the sake of privacy I cannot disclose what could have been, but if you know motorsport it has to do with the numbers 100, 24, 50, and 1. This combination of numbers marked a moment in history that will never happen again, whether in my lifetime or any lifetime. It was that significant. And for me it could have been potentially career defining.

But it wasn’t, and so I’ve been trying to process and figure where that leaves me and where I go from here.

The first thing this situation reminded me of was the importance of taking stock. Pausing and reflecting on the journey that has taken me to where I am at this moment. For this I am eternally grateful. It’s a road with twists and turns beyond my wildest expectations. But, I still see myself right at the very beginning of that journey, without a clear trajectory or any kind of financial assurances for the future. And so it’s natural to chase ever harder after dreams and goals in hope of being able to build up a brand, a business, a portfolio that can grow and provide work for the future.

I have SO MUCH to learn about my trade and know there are many more lessons ahead that will be challenging and require perseverance to navigate. But when the core of what you do is passion, when you are driven by doing what you love doing to the best of your ability, while leaving a positive impact on others in the process, I’ve found that to be immeasurably rewarding and therefore worth the effort and the lessons.

With that said, I guess I ought to trust the process as they say. By that I understand, to have faith to keep going even when you don’t see the way because God has it planned out. I believe that there will be other significant and potentially career-defining moments in the future, and I look forward to them. But that prospect doesn’t diminish the pain of one that has been lost. It’s good and healthy to process it and work through it, and then to let it go and look ahead.

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There is still lots to see.