When to take the next step.

I’m sure you have also experienced it when you're busy looking for something at home, a specific item often in some drawer, but in doing so get dragged deep into a rabbit hole of your own history, coming across all manor of previously forgotten or lost items or souvenirs. Many minutes (or hours) can go by as you become entranced by looking through an old album, a diary, or TopTrumps playing cards that you haven’t seen in years.

This happened to me last week. The item that ended up in my hand was a harness - a safety harness used for climbing. It was a birthday gift from my godfather after a hike we’d been on together in 2022. The hike involved traversing a glacier with spikes. To exit the glacier and continue the hike we needed to ascend a sheer rock face with the harness as a safety.

Holding the harness in my hand last week I was in an instant thrust back in time to a moment halfway up that rock face. I thought I was stuck. I remember slowly starting to become agitated and nervous about how I was going to keep going, about how I was going to take the next step. Now, I’m an experienced hiker, but certainly no climber. This was uncharted territory for me.

I looked down to my godfather and tried calmly to assess the situation. But it very quickly became clear that down was not an option. Below us was a melting glacier, which had already given us a few heart-in-mouth moments, and there was no alternative route.

The only way was up.

I remember so vividly that feeling of the immediate unknown. The next step either takes me closer to my destination or I will be making my way back to the glacier very quickly and uncontrollably. In those moments a harness gives you very little feeling of security and this was no guided canopy tour. I felt severely uncomfortable, trying desperately to stay rational and keep my emotions in check.

Now upon reflection it seems clear to me that when you’re standing before an unknown that scares you, when you’re on a journey of growth and discovery in yourself, in your relationships, in your hobbies, in your work, and it feels like the next step could yield opposing outcomes, it’s important to realise that backwards is not an option. You cannot reverse time. And each new experience of triumph or setback is equally bringing you forward. Perhaps not always in the way you first thought. It’s okay to fall. But you learn lessons along the way that ultimately take you forward. The journey is often so much richer than the destination.

It of course pays to be careful, considerate, and wise when it comes to making decisions. And yet I’m learning that within the careful consideration, the risk/reward balance always yields a reward. Some rewards are harder to take than others and sometimes don’t feel like rewards at all. But the rewards of steadfast determination and perseverance are more valuable than you may think.

I feel like I’m currently hanging on that cliff wondering when and how to take the next step in my own journey. I realise too that sometimes one step is made up of lots of little steps. I can see where I want to go. But I’m scared. So when? Well, when after assessing all the options, the determination to go forwards outweighs the fear of falling. And even then, falling teaches you one more way how to not fall again.

That’s growth,